To internally express your dog's anal glands, it's best to take your dog to the vet for one last professional visit and ask your vet to show you how it's done. This description is meant for review purposes, and should not to be considered as medical advice.

Thing's You'll Need Before You Begin:

• 1 surgical rubber glove
• water based lubricant

Thing's You'll Need When You're Done:

• A shower

To start, if you've got a large dog, you're going to need someone to help you hold your dog while you, ahem.... If you've got a small dog, it's possible to do this on your own, and it helps to put the dog on a leash so that you can keep control over her.

Put the glove on the hand that is most dextrous. Lubricate the forefinger of the gloved hand.

The openings of the glands look like small pinholes, located at the 10:00 and 2:00 position of the anus. You can't see these just by looking because they are located right on the inside of the anal opening.

Insert your gloved, lubricated index finger into the anal opening, and decide on the left or right side first. Using your thumb and index finger, feel around the anal opening and you will feel slight bulges, which are the anal glands. Roll the interior of the anal openng out ever so slightly and you will probably be able to see the tiny openings. Using gentle pressure, squeeze the sac between your thumb and forefinger, with slight motion upward, as if to push the contents out through the upper tiny opening.

If you're successful, you'll know it. A stinky, brown liquid will come out and you will feel the sacs diminish in size.

BEWARE: The contents may squirt out, so if you get involved and are looking up close at what you're trying to do, watch out!!!! Again, unlucky me has shot myself in the head at least two times. I'm pleased to say that after the 2nd time, I've now learned, and I won't be doing that again. I've realized that getting a better view is just not worth it. It's all a matter of getting your technique down.

Don't let this article discourage you. This process is easily done on your own, and before you know it, you'll have a secret talent. However, if you are going to attempt this, it is highly recommended that you seek professional instruction from your vet the first time around.